Adventures in Bridesmaiding

As previously mentioned, I went with my bride-friend last night for her final fitting, and then out to dinner. We were a party of 5 - myself, Bride, Bride's Mom, and 2 other bridesmaids. The fitting rooms at David's Bridal aren't exactly big enough for all of us AND a dress. So Bridesmaid 1 and I waited while Mom and Bridesmaid 2 helped Bride into her dress. While we were waiting, we watched another bride trying to choose between a cathedral veil and a shorter, layered veil. She was up on the platform in a gorgeous gown with intricately beautiful beadwork all over it, telling the employee that she would just come back next week when her parents were in town and they could help her make the veil decision. Well, another employee (whose true calling in life has got to be David's Bridal sales) overheared her and suggested that she see what BOTH veils together would look like. Cathedral veil with layered veil on top (which, to be perfectly honest was very nice). The woman was saying "This way you can have the 2 veils in the ceremony and then take the cathedral veil off for the reception, and you'll still have the shorter veil on." I couldn't resist. I leaned over to Bridesmaid 1 and whispered, "Yeah, but do you have a shorter veil to put on top of those 2? She might want one for the honeymoon." Yeah. Hubby's sarcasm is a bit contagious. I have no idea what the bride decided to do.

Bride came out of her fitting room and she was stunning. That gown is absolutely perfect. She got up on the platform, and we started looking for any little alterations that still need to be made (and there were a couple) and then practiced bustling (bottom, right, left...sides then middle - I have to remember that for another couple of months, so I thought I'd go ahead and record that). The employee assured us that "there's really no wrong way to do this, just smooth everything out when you're all buttoned." Everyone just kind of froze there for a minute as the employee's words sank in. See, Bride is a bit...well, anal. And she got that Bridezilla look in her eyes that clearly stated there is ONE correct way to do this and you will do it that way or DIE!

This "correct way" turned out to be a 3 person job (good thing 3 bridesmaids happened to be there to practice, huh?). 2 bridesmaids hold up the train while the 3rd actually handles the buttoning. While Bridesmaid 1 and I were holding up the train, Bride got all modest on us and started worrying that she's mooning anyone behind her. We assured her that her petticoat was fully covering her posterior. Not 5 minutes later, Bride asked the employee if they have any garters with pockets "for my chapstick." (Bride is a bit of a chapstick-o-holic.) The employee practically flew to the front of the store to check, dollar signs blurring her vision. While she was gone, I brought up the technicalities involved in such a garter pocket. "What are you gonna do, stop half-way up the isle and hike up your dress to get your chapstick?" Where did that modesty go, Bride? Sadly (for the employee), David's Briday has no such garter - "But that is a great idea!" exclaimed the employee. Sure. "Maybe hiding your chapstick in your bouquet would be a more subtle solution," we suggested. Bride readily agreed, and another horrific wedding crisis was averted.

After the fitting, we went to Chili's for supper. This was only my second time to eat there, and frankly, I'm not very impressed. But Bride and the other bridesmaids love it, and I was really just along for the ride last night anyway. We got there around 7:15, Mom told the hostess "party of 5," and we settled in for the 25 minute wait. At 8:15, we were still waiting. Mom asked what was going on, and the hostess fumbled around for a good 5 minutes trying to find our name on the list. She had already discarded that page - yeah, we were skipped. Mom asked how much longer our wait would be, and the hostess replied that they would be with us as soon as they had space for a party of 5. Then she calls for a party of 6. (I'm sure those of you with the math skills of a 5 year old are aware that 6 is more than 5. I'm not sure the hostess was aware of this fact.) When Mom said something about it, the hostess snapped back "We go in order." Um...if you skipped our name, you aren't going in order any more now, are you?

We were taken to a table around 8:30...it only had 3 chairs. So we stood in the way of the servers while the hostess hunted down 2 more chairs. Then she said she'd be right back with our silverware. We never saw her again. Seriously.

The table next to us had been seated about 10 minutes before us, and they still didn't have their drinks (granted, they had a different server than we did). This was not shaping up to be a good experience. So we start looking at the menu, and about 5 minutes later, our server came racing by. He stopped to tell us he would be our server and that if we could just bear with him he'd be right with us. "This is my first night, and we're kinda slammed." I wonder how many servers say that all the time to excuse the fact that they are crappy servers. I'm not saying the guy lied to us, I just really wonder about that.

Anyway, when he came back, we were ready to order. Bride was very specific about the appetizer: "Chips and salsa, TWO bowls of salsa please, and queso." He brought us our drinks (I happily noticed that they did not put lemon in the sweet tea - I was afraid they would since I didn't specify...some restaurants just do that automatically) and we swapped gossip while we waited on the appetizer. Server came back by and got refills for Bride, Mom, and me. When he returned, there was a lemon wedge in my sweet tea. None in Bride's or Mom's. Just mine. 2 possibilities came to mind: A) This server is hitting on me, or 2) This is someone else's glass. In light of the fact that the wedge had not been squished (and that I was still incredibly thirsty), I opted for the former (please allow me my delusions).

About this time, I overheard the server at the table next to us offering refills. One of the customers replied "how about my first?" Ouch. I'm guessing she didn't get a very good tip.

A little while later, here comes our Server with Bridesmaid 1's burger. That's all. Just her order. No appetizer. None of the other entrees for our table. Weird. Maybe he was playing the field, keeping his options open. Anyway, she was halfway through her burger when our chips and salsa got to the table. And there was only one bowl of salsa. No queso. Bride asked about the queso and requested a second bowl of salsa (again). Server returned with both. I kid you not, directly behind him was another server with the rest of our entrees.

It was 9pm when we finally left Chili's last night. Oddly enough, I have absolutely no desire to ever go back.