Movies Reviewed: Spring 2008

Hubby and I have been to the movies several times in the last couple of months. And since the blog has been sorely lacking in words lately, I thought I'd take the opportunity to give a run-down of the movies we've seen and what I thought of them.

Prom Night

As slasher flicks go, this one was pretty good. Incredibly predictable and formulaic, but these days what slasher flick isn't? My main complaint had nothing to do with the film itself, but the row of 12 year old girls in front of us being the annoying 12 year old girls that they were.

The Strangers

This movie was supposedly inspired by true events, although the story itself is in fact fictional. It's your typical "quiet, quiet, quiet, BOOM!" type of scary movie, which is fine the first 3 or 4 times but starts to get old around the 12th go around. It's hard to get past the blatant stupidity of the victims. I mean, if you know that there are weirdos hanging around outside and you are intelligent enough to change out of your formal and into jeans and a flannel shirt, why would you stay barefoot? Put some shoes on, for crying out loud! I did like the fact that the killers' faces were never revealed to the audience - I think that added a nice touch to the whole "inspired by true events" and the fact that it seems as though they got away with it. If you have the same active imagination that I have, that can keep you creeped out for a good 10-15 minutes after leaving the theater. And I have to admit that I was glad we were going home to a well-populated apartment complex rather than a secluded farm such as the one I grew up on. But that's more my over-active imagination than the movie.

Iron Man

Hubby has dubbed this film "the best superhero film since Spiderman (1)." And I wholeheartedly agree. Without a doubt, this is my favorite movie that we have seen this year. Casting was perfect - there is no other actor on the planet better suited to portray Tony Stark than Robert Downy Jr. While I'm no expert on the world of comics, Hubby says they did a very good job of staying true to the storyline of the comics while making it relevant to today's world at the same time.

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

I'm a huge fan of the Narnia series of children's books. C.S. Lewis was a literary genius. So of course, I'm one of those annoying moviegoers who expect the movie to stick fairly closely to the book. I mean, I can deal with a few deviations. It doesn't have to be exact. But I had problems with this one. The first movie followed the book so well that I was just sure they would follow suit with Prince Caspian. No. Caspian was too old. Battles that never happened in the book were rather pivotal in the movie. And can someone please explain to me why it was necessary to write in a romance subplot for Susan and Caspian? Just because the actress playing Susan has "developed" since the first movie does not mean that she HAS to have a romantic interest in the second movie. All in all, it's still a good movie - although I'm sure much more likeable if you've never read the books.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

You can't not like an Indy film. Even if it sucks, like Temple of Doom. And if I were to rate the Indiana Jones films, including this newest installment, Temple of Doom still comes out dead last. Crystal Skull is by no means the best of the adventures, but you have to take into consideration the time period portrayed. The first three films took place in the 1930s, complete with the only possible villains of that time period - the Nazis. Crystal Skull was set in the 1950s, so it only makes sense that the villains this time around are those darned Commies. And considering the 1950s context, it's understandable to have aliens and alien civilizations highlighted. Not exactly my cup of tea, but it is what it is. Nuclear war and alien lifeforms were what movies in the 50s were all about, so why not a movie set in the 50s? Besides, Harrison Ford may be getting up there, but he's still Indiana Jones. And that will always be hott.

The Deathly Hallows

Hubby and I waited in line Friday night with our voucher for the copy of the final installment of the Harry Potter saga that we paid for ages ago. Books-a-Million was packed. People were dressed up. Children were up and out way past their bedtimes. It was one of those times that reminds me how much I hate people. A person or two on their own, no problem. But people en masse are stupid.

Anyway, at precisely 12:01 a.m. Saturday morning, the line started moving. As far back in the line as we were, we still got home before 1:30. Of course, everyone in line had a voucher, so all the clerks had to do was scan the voucher, scan the book, and bag the book. Things go a lot faster when money isn't involved.

Hubby planned to stay up and read when we got home, but he only got about 200 pages in before he crashed. I woke up around 9 and pried the book from the death grip he had on it and started in. I had only gotten about a chapter ahead of Hubby when he was ready to claim the book as his own again (he reads a lot faster than me, so it only made since to let him finish first).

I finally got it back around 5 p.m. Saturday and stayed up until 3 a.m. Sunday devouring the thing. I laughed. I cried. I ate frozen pizza without getting grease on the pages of the book (nothing less than a miracle).

I'll not spoil the book here. Wikipedia has a very thorough entry for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows already. Suffice it to say that JK Rowling is a brilliant author who left nothing unresolved. Everything was tied up nicely and neatly. I am satisfied. I'm sure that's what Rowling has been holding her breath waiting to here. That her writing meets and even exceeds MY expectations of her. She can now relax and resume swimming in her royalties a la Scrooge McDuck.

Next time the final book of the Harry Potter series comes out, we're reserving 2 copies. I'm done with this sharing nonsense.

Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End

Last night, after an extensive housework session so that we could enjoy this long weekend, Hubby took me to see Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End. I give it an 8.5 - it was a great movie, with just an okay ending.

WARNING: Beyond this place, there be spoilers.

The East India Trading Company, now in possession of Davy Jones' heart, has taken over the seas. Civil liberties have been suspended. Pirates and anyone believed to associate with pirates have been sentenced to hang. The point is made crystal clear that they mean anyone by the inclusion of a young boy in the mass hangings.

Captain Barbossa, Elizabeth, Will, Tia Dalma, and the "main" crew members of the Black Pearl are determined to get Jack back from Davy Jones' locker. Each for their own purpose. Crosses and double-crosses abound as each character focuses on his own overall objective. Elizabeth feels guilty for sending him there in the first place, Will needs the Black Pearl in order to save his father from Davy Jones, and Captain Barbossa needs Jack because he is one of the 9 pirate lords who can release the goddess Calypso from her human form - Tia Dalma. It seems only a few of his loyal crew want to rescue him purely because they missed him. Poor Jack.

We find Captain Jack apparantly marooned in the middle of a desert, suffering from hallucinations that include the Black Pearl being manned entirely by a crew of Jacks. Personally, I couldn't tell how much of this scene was supposed to be because being trapped in Davy Jones' locker had driven Jack mad and how much of it was just because Jack is Jack. How can anyone know for sure?

The character of Davy Jones is fleshed out a bit more in this film. In Pirates 2 we learned that he had cut out his own heart because he felt he had been betrayed by the woman he loved. Now we learn that his lady love was none other than the goddess Calypso herself. She had given him immortality in return for his ferrying the souls of those lost at sea to the afterlife. The deal was that for every 10 years at sea, he would have 1 day shore leave. But when his first 10 years were up and he was finally able to set foot on land and be with his beloved Calypso, she stood him up. Well, what can you expect from an ocean nymph? As she put it, "It's my nature." Because of his heartache, Davy Jones neglects the job Calypso charged him with, and secretly provides the pirate lords with the information they need to bind Calypso in a human form. His failure to do his duty causes him to become the tentacly monster that we know now.

Jack is retrieved from Davy Jones' Locker. Elizabeth is treated as chattle in a deal with the Singapore pirates. Will and Jack each make a deal with Beckett, promising to lead him to the gathering of the pirate lords. The crosses and double crosses keep coming.

Elizabeth becomes the new captain of the Singapore pirate ship after Sao Fang's death in an attack from the Flying Dutchman. She and her new crew are captured and sent to the brig, where Elizabeth finally meets Bootstrap Bill Turner. This is such a heartwrenching scene. Bootstrap has spent so long on the Flying Dutchman that he is rapidly becoming one with the ship, losing his mind in the process. It was rather like watching someone in the advanced stages of Alzheimers.

We come across James Norrington again, who comes back from the dark side when he learns that Beckett had Elizabeth's father killed because he knew too much about the heart of Davy Jones. He helps Elizabeth and her crew to escape back to their ship, dying a hero's death.

The pirate lords convene at Shipwreck Cove. Elizabeth shares the knowledge that their location has been revealed. She recommends that they prepare for battle, but one of the lords insists that Shipwreck Cove is a well-supplied fortress and they have no need to fear. Jack insists that they should fight (only because part of his deal with Beckett was that he get the pirates out of their fortress so that Beckett's attack could be successful). Barbossa offers a third option - releasing Calypso from human form and praying she would be merciful to those who bound her in the first place. A fight ensues. It is made clear that to fight would require war to be declared. And according to the pirate code (which is an actual book, kept by Jack's father, Captain Teague - played by Keith Richards), only the pirate king can declare war. The problem? There is no pirate king. It's an elected office, and each pirate lord only ever votes for himself. They try the vote again, and each pirate lord votes for himself (Elizabeth included) until we reach Jack, who surprises even himself by voting for Elizabeth. Now not only is Elizabeth one of the nine pirate lords, she is the pirate king. War is declared.

When the pirates reach their battlefield, they realize just how greatly outnumbered they are. Barbossa releases Calypso, in hopes that she can turn the battle in their favor. But as she is released, Will reveals to her that the only reason she has been imprisoned was because her lover had told the pirate lords how it could be done. Well, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Now we have a battle in which the pirates are sorely outnumbered in the middle of a greif and fury induced maelstrom. The Black Pearl and the Flying Dutchman face off in the middle of the whirlpool. In the chaotic battle on board the Black Pearl, Will asks Elizabeth to marry him. She agrees, and as captain of the ship, Barbossa perfoms the ceremony - the whole while each of them is still in battle. Now that's an exciting wedding!

Jack's quest for immortality has led him to attempt once again to kill Davy Jones. See, the Flying Dutchman must have a captain. Whoever stabs the heart of Davy Jones must replace it with his own. Immortality, along with the job of ferrying souls and the 1 day of shore leave for every 10 years at sea will be his.

Jack obtains the chest containing the heart of Davy Jones, but Davy has recovered the key. Long drawn-out sword fight commences on the deck of the Flying Dutchman. Somehow Will and Elizabeth end up over there helping Jack out. Elizabeth draws aggro, Will pushes her out of the way, Jack has the heart in his hand and has only to stab it to achieve immortality...and Davy Jones stabs Will in the heart. Now what? Jack finally has that opportunity Elizabeth talked about in Dead Man's Chest - "You'll have the chance to do something... something courageous. And when you do, you'll discover something. That you're a good man." And he does. Jack helps Will to stab the heart of Davy Jones. Will becomes the immortal captain of the Flying Dutchman. The newlyweds spend their one day honeymoon together on an island before Will sets sail for his first 10 years.

Barbossa sails off with the Black Pearl, leaving Jack and Gibbs stranded at port. But Jack saw fit to steal the charts that lead to yet another shot at immortality - the fountain of youth.

Roll credits. But stick around - it's not completely over yet.

After the credits we are treated to a little snippet of the future. 10 years later, Elizabeth and a little boy watch as the Flying Dutchman approaches shore.

The End

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Funny story, as we were leaving the theater, I overheard some guy behind me saying "I don't understand where the kid came from." I nearly drew blood from biting my tongue to keep from turning around and saying, "You see, when a man and a woman love each other..."