It Has Nothing To Do With Sexism

Yesterday I fixed a crock pot beef stew (which was absolutely fabulous, by the way). So when we got home from work last night, the whole apartment smelled delicious. I made the comment that I wished I knew how (and had all the necessary ingredients) to make cornbread to go with the stew. Hubby said "I think you just mash corn into bread"(I assure you he was kidding around - he's not a moron).

My response?

"This is why I do the cooking, dear."

Happy Anniversary, Hubby!

In honor of seven wonderful years together, and looking forward to a lifetime more, here are the lyrics to our wedding song - Happy Endings by Free Indeed:

I prayed for God to give me someone

Someone just like you

He wrote our names together in the stars

It wasn't chance - He saw His plan through

I'm so amazed how He answered my prayer

Giving exactly what I asked

He gave me a friend that I could love for all times

My future is built on what I asked for in the past

But they say fairy tales don't come true

And I've heard that happy endings are never found

But I found my fairy tale in you

We'll begin to live our happy ending now

You always know just what to do and say

You know just how to make me laugh and smile

I feel so alive when you just hold my hand

Or talk with me or hold me for a while

But they say fairy tales don't come true

And I've heard that happy endings are never found

But I found my fairy tale in you

We'll begin to live our happy ending now

Today I'll marry my best friend

Now I could never want for any other thing again

God's led me to the place where dreams come true

He's led me there by giving me you

Oh, they say fairy tales don't come true

And I've heard that happy endings are never found

But I found my fairy tale in you

We'll begin to live our happy ending now

Vacation Diary - With Pictures!

Hubby and I have been married for 7 years this July. This past week we finally went on a honeymoon. Seriously. And to be perfectly honest, I don't know that we would have enjoyed this kind of vacation if we had taken it right after the wedding. It's a lot easier to appreciate the break from reality when you've had a great big steaming dose of reality first. Think about it - the only reason either one of us knew anything at all about "real world living" was because Hubby quit school and got a job and an apartment the semester before we got married. So he had a whopping 6 months of reality and I had absolutely no experience with reality when we said "I do." Getting away from it all right after the wedding would have been nice, but I think the whole escape from reality would have been lost on me, at least. 7 years later, on the other hand, I can definitely appreciate a week in heaven.

I decided to keep a journal while we were gone, for 2 reasons. The main reason was so that I would always have a record of the week we spent together and all the amazing things we saw and did. The secondary reason? Well, I didn't have blogging access the entire time I was there, and this post was just begging to be written! So I present, for your reading pleasure, excerpts from my vacation diary.

* * * * * * *

Saturday, May 5 - Vacation Day #1

7 hours in the car with one rest stop and one stop for gas. We packed a cooler with drinks and lunchmeat so we wouldn't have to stop for food. I dozed off a couple of times but miraculously stayed awake for the majority of the trip. After our 4th or 5th exit, Hubby pointed out that I had "woohoo!"d on every exit - totally subconsciously. I guess I was just a little excited, huh?

* * *

Sunday, May 6 - Vacation Day #2

Meet Sandie the Sea Turtle. I made her myself. I know, I'm just a great big goofy kid. Hubby and I played in the waves and laid on the beach for an hour or so this morning - we're trying to take it easy on our pastey white flesh. We took a walk around the resort property and then went for a drive to explore Destin. We drove through the biggest outlet mall I've ever dreamed of seeing. Checked out the mall - a mall that can only be described as a city unto itself (seriously, the mall has it's own water tower). From there, we were suckered into a timeshare sales pitch. Not a total waste of the afternoon, though. We were rewarded for our determination to survive the ordeal with a $50 gift card to use at the mall and a free 3 day 2 night vacation. Not bad for a 2 hour investment.

It was raining when we made our escape from the "no high pressure sales tactics" presentation, and we were starving. We decided to splurge. $10 for a burger at Fudpucker's. Worth every penny. Fan-freakin'-tastic! And we got to see a ton of alligators, too.

We ended up going back to the mall to spend part of that gift card on a movie. Spiderman 3, by the way, is very much good. See it.

* * *

Monday, May 7 - Vacation Day #3

Very windy all day long - red flag on the beach means no playing in the water. Boo. Perfect for just laying out, though. And checking out the heated indoor/outdoor pool. And going back to the mall for the world's best milkshakes. And wading along the shore, collecting shells and pieces of sand dollars.

I have to tell you about this adorable family we met at the pool. Mom, Dad, probably close to 4-year-old Garret, and the baby twins. Mom was sitting by the edge of the pool tending to the twins while Dad taught Garret how to swim. Watching them reminded me of how much I want children. Hubby would make an awesome dad. I could see him in my mind playing with kids in a pool just like Garret's daddy.

* * *

Tuesday, May 8 - Vacation Day #4

Watching dolphins swim by while I'm eating Cheerios on the balcony is a surreal experience.

We spent a good portion of the morning laying out on the beach, walking along the shore, and playing in the waves. After lunch more of the same, followed by the realization that our pastey white flesh was beginning to turn lobster-red. Oops. Hurray for the blue gunk - aloe vera with lidocaine.

* * *

Wednesday, May 9 - Vacation Day #5

Our sunburns kept us off the beach today. I was miserable, but not from the actual burn so much as the resultant inability to be out in such a beautiful day. We spent the morning cuddling on the couch and channel surfing. This afternoon we headed back to the mall (I know, we spent an awful lot of time there, didn't we?). Saw Disturbia (even better than we expected it to be, and we expected a pretty good film), compliments of the gift card from that horrific time share presentation. And bought the latest Ted Dekker novel, Skin.

* * *

Thursday, May 10 - Vacation Day #6

With the calming of our sunburns came a renewed zeal for the life of a beach bum. Our "pool family" from Monday was on the beach with a family we had seen on the beach Sunday (Mom, Dad, and Kylie, somewhere around 18-24 months old). The 2 dads were trying to engage Garret in a sandcastle construction project, but Garret seemed content to supervise. From my vantage point on my beach towel, it looked like the 2 dads had become little kids again and Garret was the adult watching over them.

We went to AJs for supper - a bit on the expensive side, but very good. Right on the harbor so if you had a window table you would have a great view of all the ships coming in (we had a booth across the room, but we still caught a glimpse of a boat here and there).

I can't believe our vacation is almost over. One more full day on the beach and then we head back to reality. I'm so glad we did this. It's good to get away and spend real quality time together. Remember why you love somebody. Fall in love all over again.

* * *

Friday, May 11 - Vacation Day #7

Another day spent enjoying the beach. The water was a lot scummier today than it had been all week. But if you could stomach wading through the gunk, there was plenty of clear ocean on the other side - still shallow enough that little ole' me could stand with my head above water (until a wave came along, at least).

I think I'm going to miss our evening walks along the shore more than any other part of this vacation. The colors, the smells, the sounds, the textures, combined with simply being with my soulmate in the moment. You just can't beat that.

* * *

Saturday, May 12 - Vacation Day #8

Today is Hubby's 28th birthday. How did we celebrate? by packing up and spending the entire day in the car. I offered to help with the driving as my gift to him, but he declined. Whew! Dodged that bullet! The return trip ended up being over 9 hours long - 2 hours longer than the trip down. We stopped more, since we didn't pack the cooler this time around. One gas stop, one food stop, 3 rest stops, and one traffic jam because a jeep had caught fire. Yes, caught fire. The hood was scorched. Didn't look like anyone had been injured, so that's good. And my stellar navigation skills cost us about a half hour trying to get to a place to turn around and catch the exit we missed at one point. Oops.

It's good to be home, but I do miss being able to step out onto the balcony and watch the ocean. Something to look forward to for next year.

* * * * * * *

Love

No one falls in love by choice; it is by CHANCE.

No one stays in love by chance; it is by WORK.

And no one falls out of love by chance; it is by CHOICE.

________________________________

That was part of a forward I got from my mom today, and I really liked the sentiment.

we belong together

Last night while Hubby and I were making the drive to Memphis, something happened that reminded me how much we just click.

Hubby said "You guys are stupid..."

And before he even finished the line, I had the mental image of where he was going:

"They're gonna be looking for army guys."

Loved Like That

Sherman Pore "auditioned" for American Idol as a tribute to his wife. He referred to her as "my lady" as he spoke of her struggle with cancer and how her spirits had been lifted before her passing by his preparation for the audition. He then proceeded to sing "You Belong to Me" as though to his "lady." It was a truly moving tribute of love.

Somewhere deep down, I believe everyone has a longing to be loved like that. To have your feelings be another human being's top priority. To be treasured. To be cherished. To be taken care of.

I believe we were designed by God with these innate longings. The Bible states that God is love, and that we are created in His image. That being the case, then we were literally born to love. Not necessarily a showy, chocolate hearts and roses kind of love. A real-life, everyday love. The kind of love that keeps the gas tank full and throws a towel in the dryer in the morning for you. The kind of love that somehow just knows you won't feel up to cooking supper tonight and stops by the Chinese restaurant on the way home from work. The kind of love that thinks about you when they stop at a store on the way home, and buys your favorite candy bar as a "just because" treat. The kind of love that passes up those awesome shoes so that you can buy that game you've been drooling over for months. The kind of love that surprises you with those awesome shoes with the next little bit of extra spending money. The kind of love that does everything in its power to make your fairy tale dreams a reality, even if their dreams have to be put on hold.

Maybe I'm wrong; maybe not everyone longs for that kind of love. But those of us who are fortunate enough to have found it should never let it blend into the woodwork of life. It is something precious to be marveled at constantly. It is something for which to be truly grateful. And I am.

Happy Valentine's Day.

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This post has been submitted in Scribbit's February Write-Away Contest. Because I am an equal opportunity chocolate enthusiast.

I feel like I should wear black...

I came home from work to find a package on the doorstep today. Inside? Confirmation of my new marital status.

Yes, that's the Burning Crusade expansion set for World of Warcraft. And because I'm a wonderful wife and my husband is the most incredibly lucky man in the world, I installed the blasted thing while waiting for him to get home from a meeting. Yep. I practically pulled the trigger myself. I'm just one mouse-click away from becoming a widow.

I think I should look for a WoW-Widows support group to join.

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Post Script: I was just kidding, but then I googled "WoW widow" - there actually is a yahoo group!

How To Be a Good Wife

Ok, so I'm not a good wife by 1955 standards...but people were stupid in 1955 anyway.

I Have You

My focus has been elsewhere of late. I should be rejoicing in the blessings I am drowning in, instead of sorrowing over the little that I have sacrificed.

I have you. Those three words seem so small on paper. They take up next to no space on my monitor. But in my heart there is nothing more magnanimous. I have you. Just the thought makes my heart swell to three times its normal size. And since, to my knowledge, I suffer from no abnormal heart size issues such as the Grinch once had, I love you so much it literally hurts. Which brings to mind a great song:

Hurt so good
Come on baby make it hurt so good
Sometimes love dont feel like it should
You make it hurt so good

I'm not as attentive as I should be. I still take you for granted. It's so easy to settle into the routine of daily life and just not think about how amazing that life truly is.

Forgive me for my failings.

May God help me to remember that I have you.

Or, as another song would put it:

They say we`re young and we don`t know
Won`t find out till we grow
Well I don`t know if all that`s true
Cause you got me and baby I got you
Babe, I got you babe,
I got you, babe.
They say our love won`t pay the rent
Before it`s earn`d our money`s always spent
I guess that`s so, we don`t have a lot
But at least i`m sure of all the things we got
Babe, I got you babe,
I got you, babe.
I got flowers in the spring
I got you, to wear my ring
And when i`m sad, you`re a clown
And when I get scared you`re always around
So let them say your hair`s too long
I don`t care, with you I can`t do wrong
And put your little hand in mine
There ain`t no hill or mountain we can`t climb
Babe, I got you babe,
I got you, babe.
I got you to hold my hand
I got you to understand
I got you to walk with me
I got you to talk with me
I got you to kiss goodnight
I got you to hold me tight
I got you I won`t let go
I got you to love me so
I got you, babe

Yeah.

The Saga Continues

Diary of an American Idol Experience
Part the Second - Audition Day
Sunday, September 3, 2006

We got carded on Beale Street as we waded through the partiers leaving the clubs and bars on our way to the FedEx Forum. Kinda funny, but Beale Street is rather scary at 3:30 in the morning.

Made it to the Forum and got back in line. Funny - we were in pretty much the same spot as we had been on Friday. And had some of the same line-buddies, too.

Commenced the waiting.

Around 7 am the line started moving. And it was a steady move straight up to the steps of the building, where the camera crew was waiting to get some crowd shots for the Memphis audition show opening. About an hour of cheering and yelling such things as "Welcome to Memphis!"; "Memphis Rocks!"; "American Idol Season 6 Starts Now!" (because they'll pick the audition town with the most enthusiasm to be the first show aired); and "I'm the next American Idol!", and then we got to go inside and find our seats.

From the moment we reached the seats, they started drilling the song they wanted the crowd to sing into our heads - Chuck Berry's "Memphis, Tennessee." Before Sunday, I didn't know the song at all...but after an hour of it being looped on the loud speaker and having to sing along, and then having to sing it over and over and over and over a cappella for the cameras, I now hate the song with a passion that burns like the fires of a thousand suns. Yeah. That bad.

After they got the footage of the song they wanted, we got to yell some more - "Welcome to Memphis!" (again); and my personal favorite (*Sarcastic grin*) "You ain't nuttin' but a hound - dawg!" (for Randy of course).

They also wanted shots of the crowd singing along and dancing to Queen - "Another One Bites the Dust." I don't know if that's going to be the "Bad Day" of Season 6 or what, but if it is, I can add another song I once loved to the pile of overplayed songs that I change the radio station after hearing the first 3 chords of. I didn't stay in the crowd for this song - they wanted us to disco, and I know my rhythm limitations. The camera would have zoomed in on the chick in the front of section 103 that was falling all over herself, and I would have been infamous. So I decided it was time to hit the snack bar. M joined me when they started setting up the tables for the auditions.

Oh...my...goodness. The concession stands in the FedEx Forums had to have held auditions for the slowest most incompetent workers for this particular event. Granted, there were like, 20,000 people there, but we weren't ALL in the same line for food - or even at the same stand! I am not lying, I waited in line from 10 am to 12 pm for food. We got 2 chicken strips w/fries and 2 large Pepsi's. Total cost? $27.00. Yeah. But after 9 hours since eating anything at all (and that only being a handful of Wheat Thins), those were some dang good chicken strips.

About 10 minutes after we got back to our seats, our section was called down for auditions. I stayed where I was and watched. They had 16 tables down on the floor of the FedEx Forum, with a producer at each table. They went by sections, so the section number on your ticket was what determined when you would audition. If we had known that, we wouldn't have bothered being there so freakin' early. They were lining people up 4 at a time at each table. Each person would get to step up to the table and sing for 10-30 seconds, then step back for the next person to go. If you made it through, they sent you through the tunnel on the right. If it was "thanks but no thanks", up the stairs to the left and out the building.

M went first in his little group. Sang for the whole 30 seconds. Everyone else in his group only got 10. I watched from a distance, my stomach in total knots, still unsure of what I wanted to happen. I mean, we had stood in line for-freakin'-ever for this, and it would be a bummer for it to all be over here. But still, how on earth would we survive financially if he did go on? I prayed. For whatever would be best for us. For peace in my heart to deal with whatever outcome God saw fit.

All 4 in M's group went up the stairs. It was over.

I worked my way up and out to meet him at the front entrance. Here's what they told him:

"You have a fantastic voice."
"You look like a star."
And, then my absolute favorite comment..."but it's not what we're looking for for Season 6."

Read: you are neither the next American Idol, nor are you freak enough to be good for ratings.

So, he didn't make it. That's better than making it simply because you're such a freak that you'll boost the show's ratings, right? Besides, at least now he can say he's tried out for American Idol. It was a life experience.

He actually still has next year, but if he decides to do this again next year, I think that's grounds for divorce.

An experience, to say the least

Diary of an American Idol Experience
Part the First - The Registration
Friday, September 1, 2006

I now can sympathize with the cows on a cattle drive. We got up at 3 am and arrived at the FedEx Forum in downtown Memphis at 4:30 am. There were already thousands in line. Nevermind that we were not technically allowed to line up until 6 am. According to the Memphis news, people had started lining up Thursday afternoon. We took our place in the line and commenced waiting.

We stood.

And stood.

And moved three feet.

And stood.

Rinse. Repeat ad nauseum.

People in line were singing (some of them rather badly). A Memphis radio station was broadcasting live on location. There were some very "interesting" people. There was an Elvis impersonator - I think he was just there with the radio station, but he could have been there to audition. Anyway, he got up on the roof of the Hard Rock Cafe in his "fat Elvis" suit and started posing for pictures. It was a nice diversion.

Season 5 Idol contestant Gedeon McKinney walked past us on his way to do an interview with the radio station.

Anyway, after 5 hours of waiting in line, we got inside the FedEx Forum. 5 hours in line for 2 minutes at a registration table to get our wristbands and tickets so that we could go back on Sunday for the actual auditions.

We headed back to the car. You know, after 5 straight hours of standing, it's actually rather difficult to sit down. Once we got ourselves into the car, we went in search of food. We hadn't eaten since 9:30 Thursday night (McDonalds on the way to Memphis). IHOP has never been more fantabulous than it was at 10 am on Friday morning.

Much love to T and D for being gracious hosts to your lousy houseguests over the weekend. Sorry we lazed about so much. The few waking moments we spent at your house were rather enjoyable.

Bundle O Nerves

I am nervous enough for the both of us, and I'm not even doing anything this weekend! I'm still terrified things will not turn out...but I'm also terrified that they will. If I were to have to choose an animal I feel most like at this moment, I believe OSTRICH would be the winner. Just let me bury my head in the sand and pretend nothing is going on. Anyway, I'm on blogging hiatus from now until at least Monday, more likely Tuesday. When I get back to the keyboard, I'll post a link to his blog so those of you who have no clue what the crap I'm talking about will be up to date. Gotta run to a meeting for work now. Hope I have everything packed.

The Things We Do For Love

You know he'll never forgive himself if he passes up this opportunity. It's something he just has to do. And you want more than anything for him to be happy. So you support him. He's already thought things out pretty thoroughly, so you can just sit back and not worry your pretty little head. But you both know that's not in your nature. It's still weeks away, and already your stomach is in knots.

Excitement mingles with fear. It woud be so awesome for this to actually happen. But then, what if it does? Can your finances survive throughout the process? Certainly not on your meager paycheck alone.

But that's not the only concern you have. Sure, if he makes it you have the financial stuff to worry about. But what if he doesn't? What if he's not what they are looking for? You know he's amazing and incredibly talented, but what if he just doesn't have the right genre of talent? You know he can handle the let-down. But can you? You have dealt with disappointment before (who hasn't?). But you also know just how painful that disappointment can be when you already had your hopes up. And you can't stop yourself from getting your hopes up. If he doesn't make it, he's going to need you there for him. Who's going to be there for you when it all comes tumbling down?

How selfish is that - making this all about you? It's not about you at all. It's all about him. But when you love someone this much, anything that has any effect on him at all is suddenly about you, too. It's inescapable.